OMG Make me BARF!!

Can I barf anymore over that last posting!?? What a sap I am!! That lasted like a blink and a half! Again, come across a guy that thinks I am here to walk all over. I should have known as he is or was an ex friend of the EX hubby. Was I on glue...seriously?! As he was moving in with me he was still talking to women online and dating others from what I found out!! REALLY.. I am booking that appointment at the remove signs from forehead place. My sign says "come walk over me... I am a true sucker!"

Need to write more here or even in my diary. Need to see my thoughts.

Skin still crawling seeing his picture on here... but I will not delete it! It happened and is over...

Okay for a lighter note... wonder why I am challenged in life... check out the picture!!

That is one sad picture of me and my brother.. would never know that he turned out to be a hottie.. yes, I think my brother is good looking! What is wrong with that?

So, me and my bro are clothe challenged in that picture!! My gawd who likes the 80s. Could the shorts be any brighter!!!!! What a time... can you hear the Duran Duran playing!?? lol

Would I go back to that time? Hmmmmmm.....

If I went back would I have stayed with my high school sweetheart that I got knocked up with and married. NO!! Would not want to change the girls but would like to have them a bit later than 19 years old. Younger one I had at 23, week short of 24 so that was okay.

Hanging with the band dudes and watching them play... all that stuff we did in the 80s was amazing! Going to Sauble for May 24 weekend was great!! Going back to having friends and happy happy times, that I could handle! Or maybe I enjoy the sitting in the house, never going out and don't have any friends.. maybe I was meant to be live this life!

Life has sooo changed in the last month!!

Well, been sometime since I have actually written in here and man oh man... I am soo in love!!!!

He is the man of my dreams. I am so happy and looking at living together, which I am sooo shocked that I really want this!! And extremely happy that we will be doing it. Pictures in my head of us hanging out and just enjoying the summer together!! I love it.. makes me so warm and content and happy inside!!!!!

Rich, I am so happy!! I say that knowing that someday maybe I will show you this site....

I love you.. truly and forever!!

Life has been so much better with you in it!! I look forward to talking to you, seeing you and being in your arms!!

The thought of not being with you breaks my heart!!

I look forward to a lifetime.....

Again.. LOVE YOU!!!!!

Guy not with girl anymore but with everyone else.. not me!!

Last night I went with the man to Toledo Ohio on a run for his job... I loved hanging with him and talking and keeping him company. I loved even more lying next to him in the back, doing nothing but sleeping, and having that companion, that warmth, that human touch.. and yes, anyone can do that but of course I have history with him! He is not with chicky anymore and moving back to this area... yeah! But also he was been out on dates with other girls and somewhere tonight and talks about it like I am a buddy. I am trying to be and don't want to lose him as one but man oh man.. it is freakin hard! Why can I have that part of him and other girls get the fun part!? Why can I do the companion thing and not have the full package?? Why do I rack my brain in this and try to understand it? Why do I do this to myself? I am upset and disappointed so what do I do.. meet up with someone else for nothing but a quick feeling of being needed... nothing more. Do I say, see ya and see what happens? I am too much of a chicken to do it but again what am I going to lose. I may gain.. wait this is me talking.. I always get the short end of the stick!!!!!!!

You are now an angel.. take care of your mom!

Today at 1921 Hahnna Eloise May was born... and died... She had some skin missing on her body which at this time is unknown but other than that mom says she is perfect!! She looked just like her brother and had little rosebud lips. She had chubby little legs!! Weighing a great 12lbs 10 oz at 22" long why did she have to go? She had a great heartbeat yesterday and sometime during the day she stopped moving!! Mom went to hospital and for whatever reason they let her go home to come back the next day for another ultra sound... her due date ( which would be the day her c-section was to be) was Wednesday.. four days from now.. five days from when she went in... why did they not just section her there...????? What were they waiting for.. to make sure she was really dead????
Hahnna will be cremated and kept with mom, dad, 2 sisters and brother so that if they do move out of country she will always be with them.. someday she will have her ashes somewhere but for now close to home is what is needed!!


Hahnna Eloise May October 23, 2005 sweet angel.....................................

What to do with this guy!!????

Really what am I suppose to do about this guy???? He is with a girl which hmm.. I do care but I don't! I want him to be happy and I want him to have a great life at the same time I have to give up talking to him to do so and I am not happy with that! We have known each other a short time... almost a year but you know when you have such a click with someone that saying goodbye actually hurts! And this one really hurt! He is a flirt, he is a knob but those little quirts are the things that I like about him.

What the hell does she have that is so special??? Okay, I am feeling like a big blob.. blowing up like a balloon!~! Wonder if the doc will actually deal with it.. off track! She is suppose to be cute little thing, sounds free spirited and in my impression looking to have the guy on the side and a life of freedom too! I could be wrong but that is the story that has been passed me! Young and no commitements? Young and feels who she is with is all that!! I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!

I don't want to say goodbye. I want my friend back!! I miss you....

She is a beautiful Jack Russell!!!!!

She is really gorgeous!! Just say the word squirrel and you can get her to look this good! Turning eight in November and the age is starting to show but when out with her brother she is definitely a pup again! I have to say having Jack Russell's has been challenging and rewarding! I will put her brother into the ring for agility next summer... I have made a promise to do it this winter... put that foot down woman and do it damn it!!!!!

I never did do anything with her but she does not have papers like her brother does and they are brother and sister by blood as they have the same father!!

The muscle on her... the speed she has... She is beautiful!!!

One little pill.. two little pills.. ummmm...

One of these little things will really not do too much harm.. but start adding one to one to one.. the affect is incredible!! They can be for good... they can be bad!! Which colour would you like?? Ohhhhh.. add a bit of alcohol to this and wow!! You lose what you were doing... you forget and it is really fasinating trip!! Oh yeah, the chance of death... guess that is a chance you take!!