Guy not with girl anymore but with everyone else.. not me!!

Last night I went with the man to Toledo Ohio on a run for his job... I loved hanging with him and talking and keeping him company. I loved even more lying next to him in the back, doing nothing but sleeping, and having that companion, that warmth, that human touch.. and yes, anyone can do that but of course I have history with him! He is not with chicky anymore and moving back to this area... yeah! But also he was been out on dates with other girls and somewhere tonight and talks about it like I am a buddy. I am trying to be and don't want to lose him as one but man oh man.. it is freakin hard! Why can I have that part of him and other girls get the fun part!? Why can I do the companion thing and not have the full package?? Why do I rack my brain in this and try to understand it? Why do I do this to myself? I am upset and disappointed so what do I do.. meet up with someone else for nothing but a quick feeling of being needed... nothing more. Do I say, see ya and see what happens? I am too much of a chicken to do it but again what am I going to lose. I may gain.. wait this is me talking.. I always get the short end of the stick!!!!!!!